The calm before the storm vs. Enter The Dragon…

When I met with Dr. D to discuss the chemoradiotherapy treatment I thought she told me that I had 4 weeks to wait before I could start. I was very pleased at the prospect of a month off. A month was enough time to get some further recovery from the surgery and more importantly some time to do some fun stuff with my family, and see some friends. I had this feeling from the meeting that once the treatment started I would basically be to all intent incapacitated. Now was the time to do some cool stuff. It didn’t even occur to be to be concerned about any delay, I was so dreading the treatment that the longer away the better. As it turned out, I had misunderstood what she had said. In fact, the treatment was to start less that 2 weeks after the meeting. What she had meant was that the treatment would start 4 weeks after the surgery. When I found this out a few days after the appointment I was gutted - probably out of proportion to be honest. My wife persuaded me that it was better to get started and I’d have the time I wanted back afterwards and basically I needed to ‘grow a pair’, which in hindsight was a fair appraisal. I did sulk a bit though! After getting over myself I decided to embrace the two weeks I had ‘off’ and focus on the positive rather than the negative. It was a beautiful time actually. Each day that passed I was feeling much stronger after the surgery and by the end of the first week I realised I was feeling better than I had done in months. Physically and emotionally I felt strong, clear headed and happy. I had some great fun times with my kids and was able to nurture them again after being laid up following the surgery. I felt that I had quickly reconnected with them and spend some lovely times out in the sunshine with the wife as well. I even managed to sneak in a cheeky curry with some mates which was great fun. I started the evening by forcing them to endure a detailed account of my surgery which I did before the food came - to their credit none of them seemed to be put off their dinner! I then asked them all to take it in turns to tell me what was going on in their lives, particularly any challenges. They duly obliged and I got a series of individual tales of woe which no matter how silly it sounds was amazingly therapeutic for me! Life is so relative. Hearing some completely different relative experiences from my mates made me feel so much more human. At the end of the day, we’re all on our own journeys and we all have good and bad stuff to deal with every day. It felt quite ironic that by the time the treatment was due to start, I honestly felt better than I could remember feeling in years and it seemed bizarre that I’d be going into such aggressive treatment feeling so well. I hoped this would stand me in good stead for the future. The only ‘blip’ in my lovely 2 week pause was a short preparation session at the hospital which I had to attend. The appointment was to create the ‘mask’ that would hold my head still whilst the radiation was put in me. You know that phrase ‘a picture says a 1000 words’? I think this is one of those times.

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